Thursday, December 25, 2008
We have now gotten through holiday #2 and are all doing very well I think. I am visiting family right now and my sister has gone above and beyond to help make this a happy time for me and the kids. She has made her home so warm and welcoming and I could never thank her enough for that. She has made sure I'm very busy,too, which is the best gift of all.
We were able to video-chat with our soldier last night and it was really great. He got to see my sister's family and talk to them a little and he got to talk to our boys and I for quite awhile. He waited to open presents from us so that we could see him on the web-cam and I think the kids really liked that. He looked really good and was so upbeat and positive for the kids.
We finally had a chance to chat alone and we talked and daydreamed about his homecoming. It won't be too much longer. I was proud of myself for not crying in front of the kids but I just couldn't keep it together for my soldier. I tried so hard but the hardest part was saying good-bye when he had to go to breakfast. I promised him I wasn't sad like this all the time and that I would be just fine in a few minutes. I don't think he believed me! I hated to do that in front of him on the web-cam. I kept from completely falling apart until the computer was turned off and then I sobbed like a fool. I thought I might just get away with a few tears but no such luck. It was good though. I need to release that stuff so that I'm not holding on to it and making it worse.
We are all getting through our day so far. We don't have much longer to go. Only one more holiday left and then we can start focusing on making his homecoming a great one. Man, I really miss him so very much. This is so hard, I knew it would be - no matter how many people told me it would be fine. I appreciate that but I also wish that friends would just let me be ok with the fact that sometimes it really is just too hard to take but that it's ok to feel that way. I know we will survive, we always do.
Thank you for all of your positive thoughts and prayers and for all of you that sent my soldier a care package. You will never know how much that means to those guys who are so far away from home.
Have a wonderful Christmas and New Year!
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
I feel like I am on a roller coaster with weight gain. I lose it for awhile and then I think I'm fine and what's one little donut.....or 2 or 6? Then it slowly creeps back up until the ol' jeans aren't feeling too good right out of the dryer. I have to confess that food is my stress reliever. Although when I think about it, it only lasts for a few minutes and the stress is still there. I've always known that I'm a much better exerciser than a 'dieter' but right now I'm just trying to find enough hours to sleep, take care of 3 kids, study, clean, study.......you get the idea, right?
Enough excuses! I do want to be healthy and have more energy and I used to counsel people on weight loss a long time ago when we lived in Louisiana so I know all the rules on how to do it right. I just need to make that commitment. That seems to be the hardest part for me.
I have to add that I am proud of myself for losing that one pound and for not putting on the usual 20 that I do when my soldier deploys. BTW, for those of you who read me often, we are now at the 6 month point with only 2 left to go!!!!! WOOHOO!!!!
Hopefully by following the 'Sisterhood' I will be encouraged to stick with this and it will make me accountable. I used to work out with my SIL when we were all stationed together a year ago and having a partner made all the difference in the world. The Sisterhood is my partner now and I am excited already by the posts I've read and the weight loss that's been documented!
Keep it up, Sisters!
Sunday, November 30, 2008
This is little T-Monkey and her delight as she discovered the Christmas tree after her nap!
This is our 'Charlie Brown' Christmas tree! It's very little but the 9 footer we have is just too much for me to handle so we settled for something a little easier to manage.I just love a pretty mantle at Christmas time, don't you?
And finally, the boys enjoying our 14 inches of snow we got today. It was so beautiful and quiet. I love how snow 'blankets' you like it did today. I hate to drive in it but I love it far more than I hate it.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Then, it happened.
I completely lost all composure in the Christmas aisle at Wal-Mart. Endless tears streaming down my face all the while I'm cussing myself out because I'm so pissed for letting go like this in public. I keep telling myself everything is going to be ok, we'll get through these holidays with no problem and then we're in the home stretch for him to come home. I was pretty darn positive up until that point. Maybe it was the fact that I felt like he had to settle for last minute crappy gifts and a stocking instead of the tree and ornaments that each of the kids had picked out just for him. Maybe it was dreading the entire experience from the start because I knew how hard it was going to be to buy things for him and have to ship them a million miles away just so he could get them 'after' Christmas. Maybe I was so dang tired that I didn't have the strength to be strong anymore. I couldn't handle it. I tried everything in my power to stop the tears but it just wasn't going to happen. As I reached the check-out I apologized profusely for my inappropriate display of emotions and explained that my soldier wouldn't be with us this Christmas and it was our first holidays to ever be apart in his 14 years in the Army. She was very nice and proceeded to tell me that what I was doing happens all the time in this town. So in the spirit of letting it all out, I cried even harder! To think that she was so used to seeing so many other military spouses crying at check out is just unbelievable to me. I guess I'm not as isolated as I often feel.
On the way home I started to calm down but I remembered thinking how crazy my friend (whose husband left 2 months ago ) was for telling me that missing the holidays was no big deal. No big deal? To our family its a very big deal. I think she is one of many spouses who becomes a little jaded because the soldier is just gone so much that they become numb. My soldier told me in an e-mail that the group he joined over there had left last November (07) and would be coming home the same time he is. I can't even imagine. I suppose after 15 months the numbness would set in at some point. It's crazy to me that there is a rotation that sends our soldiers right before the holidays and lasts through two of them and ends after they are over. Why couldn't they have started the rotation in May so that these guys/gals could get home just in time for the holidays? I guess wars don't stop for Christmas time. Then, I started to get mad. Now I just want to start throwing all of the stuff that I just bought at anything and everything and stomp on it and rip it to shreds. This whole experience is just such a mixture of emotions that some days I just don't know if I'm coming or going.
You won't believe the ending here- I show up to school Monday - package all set and ready to be mailed right after class and the idiot woman who read the article told everyone not to panic - that she read the entire article and discovered that the post office said to mail it that early if you were going to send it parcel post and not priority. FYI, I have never sent anything overseas parcel post in fear of it getting to him after he has already re-deployed. Needless to say, she is NOT one of my favorite people.
Since then I have regained my composure and gotten the tiny tree and the wonderful ornaments the kids picked out all packed up and ready to go. I just keep praying every single day that I have the strength to keep my chin up and my smile on to be the rock my kids are depending on.
If I ever needed superhuman strength, its definitely right now.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Here are the rules:
1. Each player starts with eight random fact/habits about themselves.
2. People who are tagged need to write on their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
3. At the end of your blog post, you need to choose people to get tagged and list their name.
4. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged and to read your blog.
Here are 8 random things about me:
1. My all time favorite Girl Scout is Ariel and my favorite Girl Scout cookie is Tag-A-Longs.
2. I am currently attending Dental Assistant school at which I have a 4.0 and hope to go on to Dental Hygiene school at some point.
3. I really do love the Army life even though my soldier seems to be gone quite a bit. It's the new places every couple of years that keeps me going.
4. I am the baby of my family with two older sisters and one brother.
5. I used to hate coffee with a passion but my coffee worshiping soldier and his family quickly changed all that. I must have yummy creamer in it and one packet of Splenda, however.
6. I not only love my mother-in-law, I really like her too.
7. I hate that I am pushed to the brink of road rage every day on my way to school.
8. Simple things like rainbows, freshly fallen snow on the mountains, vivid, green grass and the sun shining make me very happy.
Now I have to tag two people.........Congratulations:
A Day in the Life of the Ordinary
Tag! You're it!!
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Since it is Veteran's Day I'd like to take this time to thank ALL Veterans everywhere for their devoted service to our country. I saw an older gentlemen with a Vietnam Vet hat on today at McDonald's and started to cry. I wish I could have had lunch with him or shaken his hand and listened to some of his stories. It's hard for me to fathom that my husband is a Veteran as well. Usually on this day I will make him a special dinner, bake his favorite cake (strawberry with strawberry icing) let him golf, not one but TWO rounds- and just celebrate him and all he has done for his family and his country. He is such an awesome soldier and one that the Army is very lucky to have. He is so strong and dedicated. I could go on for hours!
On that note, with a few tears streaming down my cheeks, I will get out of here as I have yet another 6 chapter test to study for tomorrow.
Please remember to keep all of our soldiers who are deployed and at home in your prayers and maybe look up the U.S.O. and see what you could do for them with the holidays coming up and so many of them being overseas during that time. Every little gesture or note or care package is so greatly appreciated and it really lifts their spirits- if even for just a moment.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Isn't it fun to experience their first time to really notice things like pumpkins and decorations and be mesmerized by it? She sat there for the longest time just staring at Mr. Pumpkin and smiling and asking me what it was. It was such an awesome moment. One of those moments that I'll never forget and was so glad that I took the time to make the house decorative and fun for the season.