Saturday, October 11, 2008

Ok, so I know I'm a bad bloggy Mommy but I have been soooo incredibly overloaded with school that I honestly asked myself- just this week- "what the heck am I doing?" I have huge tests every week, 10 chapters of paperwork every week and not to mention lab days in the middle of it all that I have to test out of. CRAZY! I know I can handle it - I've done it before with surgery assistant school (he was deployed to Kosovo for that one...ugh.) but some days I come home and literally collapse.
My goal was to do school work and then blog before I go to bed. I'm so tired by the time I'm finished that I just don't have the brain power or the energy to write! So, I'm thinking I might try for once a week or maybe twice a week depending on my schedule. I was hoping to do so much more since this is the first deployment that I've ever 'journal-ed' before. There are so many things to talk about- so many things that a family experiences during a deployment that a lot of people don't even realize. So, I think I will truly make an effort to do better here. Maybe if I tell myself I don't have to write a short novel and maybe just a thought or two- it wouldn't seem so overwhelming!
So, to bring you up to speed- Thursday marked our 3 month milestone since he left. Three months down - 4-5 to go!! We don't know exactly when his return date is, hence the 4 or 5 months!
I also found out that one of my sweet boys (I won't say who to protect his privacy) is having a hard time adjusting to Dad being gone this time around. I guess I've been so busy that I haven't stopped to ask either one of them how they are coping. Major guilt here. I found out through a neighbor that he was really missing Dad and having a hard time thinking of anything else. Dang it. How did I not pick up on that? I feel so bad- like I missed the mark on this one. He talked to a neighbor and not me. This hits me hard. It would explain the report card he just brought home too. Am I being selfish with my own schooling that I don't pick up on the signals that I used to be so in tune with? I'm so worried about a 4.0 that I'm failing at home. I should be worried about getting a 4.0 at home instead. So, keep us in your prayers- that the time stretches so that I have enough to spread around to everyone that needs me.

On a brighter note, I actually put the books down yesterday to put up some fall decor and I took these pictures which I thought were just precious:

Isn't it fun to experience their first time to really notice things like pumpkins and decorations and be mesmerized by it? She sat there for the longest time just staring at Mr. Pumpkin and smiling and asking me what it was. It was such an awesome moment. One of those moments that I'll never forget and was so glad that I took the time to make the house decorative and fun for the season.
On that note, I think I'll go and watch a movie with my babies and enjoy them. I don't want to miss out on any more 'moments' this week.